Every day people bust their butts and build their lives around a person they think they are that doesn’t really exist.
Its so brutally apparent when you go out or go to business anything. People are investing their time, focus, and effort in appearing to be some super successful professional type to other people because we have ingrained the belief that what people think and what we have, equals who we are. This just isnt a real world perspective.
But in the strongest most real way possible, the person we are trying to become is literally not us. It has nothing to do with us or what we want. But because we do not know ourselves we can lose a life time trying to find ourselves in the person that we think other people want to see. I know it took me some time to see the hidden messages and to ditch the suit and tie for sneakers and basketball shorts, ditch the flashy cars for a conservative generic but functional medium sized car.
Image: Dont be a poser, be real.
The perfect example : People spend insane amounts of time investing in a social hierarchy to make friends or even life partners who they don’t really like but instead make them feel important. We can scoff and snigger about its for the money, the looks the lifestyle but it comes down to its the status in the public eye.
You see it all the time “oh this guy runs in the same social circle as Jeff Bezo (Amazon CEO), so and so, etc.” But if you are not really friends with Jeff or you don’t enjoy his real world company, but only the sense of power you gain from said social circle, then your literally investing all your time in a relationship thats not fulfilling any part of the literal you and is imaginary. It has nothing to do with “Bezos” and nothing to do with “you”. You are just two people the filling roles of the imaginary image of “self” that you believe equals you.
You’ve probably done this, met somebody or some group you “wanted” to be friends with and found that it was hard to talk to them. But because you wanted to be friends/liked by them for the wrong reasons , it never occurred to you that the reason you had trouble talking to them is because you don’t like or relate to them at all. You’re investing in something with no ROI for the real you.
You see nothing but this in nightlife. Peoples fake persona’s meeting/interacting with other peoples fake personas in order to appease/grow the importance of their fake personas. It’s mind boggling because the end results at the end of the day is only to the benefit of the imaginary personas. Same thing in business.
Even worse look at social media. People invest so much into this presence on the internet for OTHER people to see. It’s insanity. Like our “fullfillment” can be boiled down to how many people we do not really know approve/disapprove of us. Its literally investing into an idea of you instead of you. If that idea is actually you, you’ll probably be happy, but if its not, holy shit…what a poor way to invest you life.
Really think about it. The person people think you are is not you. The person you want people to think you are is not you. This person that people are investing EVERYTHING into has nothing to do with you and does not even exist in the most literal of literal.
ts pretty sad because its unintentionally slavery of ourselves to goals and effort that is the definition of fruitless. Its like investing your entire income into a business that does not exist or yield any returns.
You might as well just carry around a cardboard cutout of the person who you are milking their fame from and set it up as “you need it” this is so sad.
If you invest your time in effort into what other people think, you are going end off with a social circle of people you don’t really like, businesses you don’t enjoy and all your thoughts, energy and time go into something that has nothing to do with you and the happiness/
You are just going to have a big pile of fake BS at the end of the day.
It’s like spending your entire life building a giant mega yacht to realise you hate the water and then thinking “who the fuck did I build this yacht for in the first place?!”
Then you look back and all you have is a bunch of shit (your “social” statistical ranking, friends, accomplishments, materialistic stuff, skills) that has nothing to do with you that you tortured yourself to get.
If you just totally stop investing in the imaginary person you are trying to find yourself in, you may realise that you are nothing like that person and that you can drop 95% of the “torture” you put yourself in and just focus on having fun and being happy. 95% of what you do might be in complete vain and you may be sacrificing the stuff that you really want to do.
I’m not saying stop doing everything, but maybe ask why
There are going totally out of their way to run a business, make friends, and money but not to make ones that
Why the heck do you want a large multi state company, 9 figure net worth, 9 Ferrari’s and a giant beachside mansion in a snotty neighbourhood just to keep up with the Joneses.
Then maybe ask yourself, if what I am doing is what my true self likes why am I so stressed out and pissed off and hungry all the time. Why cant I sleep, why am I miserable and why don’t I find joy in what I do everyday. This is life changing self assessment stuff right here and a HUGE part of why I changed my entire career after selling my hospitality business.
It’s because that imaginary self is imaginary and no matter how much you throw at it, it will never become real an give you the “solid”-ness you are looking for and you are so stressed because keeping up all that crap is a major nuisance that you don’t enjoy.
There’s nothing wrong with any of those things, but why do you want them in the first place? You might find you don’t want any of them and just really want to build cool shit with your friends, eat new foods in tropical locations and work indoors on those rainy days.
You may find that your much more happy drinking piss and playing NBA Jam with your high school friends than you are going to a party with social celebrities and self made influencers.
You might find your way more happy making a gaming company
Neither way is wrong, theres no right way, but if your pissed and hungry all the time your probably off base a bit.
The reason you are probably so “hungry” is because you spend all your time spoon feeding an imaginary best friend of “you”. Let that hunger loose onto a passion project that you really want to own. This blog is my own little passion project I never set out to make money I want to help people get actual help with their online career and avoid the fraudsters and the opportunist salesmen to really help others kick their own goals and really carve out a niche in the make money online space.
If you took some time to think about it and figured out what you actually want and makes you happy right now you wouldn’t be that hungry. Theres breadcrumbs everywhere in our lives but you just may not see them for what they really are. For me it was building websites, I had one but I was always paying some lazy developer to do edits for my store and he would take forever and it would be wrong and then he wants payment for every little thing so I just learned how to fix my own problems so I could tell him to take a long walk off a short bridge. That feeling was priceless.
FYI: Not hungry doesn’t mean
You could then chill out, focus entirely on what makes you happy and as a result…end up with a huge beachside house in a nice suburb, fill your garage with a different type of muscle car for every day of the week and drive cars insane power as
You may find you have no fucking idea why
There’s no wrong way, you can spend time worrying about and pursuing things you don’t like or enjoying things you do. Both get the exact same result. I hope you get the fire lit under your pants to stop trying to be someone else and start being you!
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